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Band 5.5

In some countries children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

#countries #children #massage
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In some parts of cultures in different countries in the world, children are given the message that they can accomplish everything they want if they work hard.
However
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, while acting harsh and pushing youngsters to overwork can give them a better self-confident, it is
also
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 can be a reason for many of them to suffer from stress.
To begin
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 with, the fact that pushing youth to obtain what they want can grow the
confident
Suggestion
confidence
 in themselves. If they are told to think and do their best in order to pursue their needs, they will trust in themselves more and have a better personality.
Moreover
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, the fact that they will be more independent in the future by giving all the best to gain it and
eventually
Suggestion
eventual
 success which make them to not seek any help from others. As it is shown in a recent study by Harvard University, that 70% of successful, well know people, became famous and important personalities by working hard and insisting to attain what they put as a goal in their lives.
On the other hand
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, the phenomenon to work hard and pressuring youngsters might have
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on them
such
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 as suffering from stress. When pushing
young age child
Suggestion
the young age child
a young age child
young age children
 to have what they want, some of them will stress and suffer from a mental health issue. If a child
do not have
Suggestion
does not have
 the power or a good physical condition to work hard on themselves and eventually they fail, a reversal impact will affect them by being stressed and feeling weak.
Furthermore
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, the feeling of disappointment if they cannot achieve their goals and
consequently
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 giving up. In conclusion, by insisting on youngsters to overwork in order to gain what they want can be beneficial for their confident and
independency
free from external control and constraint
independent
.
Nevertheless
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, it can
also
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 affect their health condition in a negative way.
Submitted by Sabina on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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