Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference

Nowadays, magnanimously people

has faced

Suggestion

have faced

problem to flourish the environmental contamination as well as industries and companies who devotes effort to diminish the problem of

pollution

in the air.

However

, I disagree with

this

statement about inhabitants are not reforming the pollutants

in to

expresses motion to a point on, or within, something

into

the cleaning because they

has

Suggestion

have also given

also

been giving performance at expanding level.

additionally

Suggestion

Additionally

this

essay shall discuss the

both

prospective views from bird's eye view before arriving a concrete answer.

people

Suggestion

People

has

Suggestion

have also been devoted

also

been devoted steps to enhance the environmental quality

such

as completing

garbage procedure

Suggestion

the garbage procedure

from house to recycled companies.

Also

, people

has

Suggestion

have also been

had also been

also

been aware about

hazardous effects

Suggestion

the hazardous effects

Suggestion

from

contaminated

pollution

Accept space

In addition

Accept space

people not only using fossil fuel based

transportation but

Accept comma addition

transportation, but

also

use electrical vehicle.

Nevertheless

, people have been trying to use

carpooling

a telegram sent abroad

cabling

as well as private transportation.

for

Suggestion

For

instance, 5 people could use 1 car for particular destination as well using own vehicle, on the dependency of that they saving

both

fuel and time

Accept space

Not stand

with

Suggestion

that,

government

Suggestion

the government

has not

also

been trying to apply legislation about

contamination but

Accept comma addition

contamination, but

also

slap on wrist against an excessive

pollution

range.

whether

Suggestion

Whether

industries applied or not they should follow

rules

Suggestion

the rules

Accept space

Although

its effects seem as nationally

Accept space

industries lead efforts to diminish pollutants.

For example

, clothes companies produced an excessive fumes as well as

production

Suggestion

production, although

produced although

produced produced although

although

government

Suggestion

the government

had set rule of thumb to

adjusted

Suggestion

adjust

either time management of production. In conclusion,

both

inhabitants and industrialization

has been making

Suggestion

have been making

have made

efforts to plummet

pollution

as well as fumes at their own level.

Suggestion

both

are

filed

Accept comma addition

filed, then

then

neither national has responsible nor countries.

Submitted by Yash Soni on Mon Jul 27 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

environmental awareness
sustainable practices
renewable energy
carbon footprint
waste reduction
conservation
ecosystem
pollution
climate change
responsibility
leadership
legislation
investment
collaboration
systemic change

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