IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that charity organizations should give aid to those in greatest need, wherever they live. Some people believe that charity organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in own country instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #charity #organizations #aid #country
Nowadays, there is a significant amount of charitable organizations are willing to help others.Because of that, people disagree about whether charity organizations should give assistance to the people in greatest
need no
Accept comma addition
need, no
 matter where they live or just focus on the domestic citizens. Personally, I side with the latter. On the one hand, it is quite reasonable for a lot of citizens to support charities to help people suffering abroad. Because we have to admit that there are still too many
under-developed
relating to societies in which capital needed to industrialize is in short supply
underdeveloped
 areas with extremely poor life conditions all over the world which really need other organizations or countries to help them. To be more specific, Even some countries are still in a period of chaos or war, so it is absolutely not possible for them to get rid of poverty without anyone’s support.
On the other hand
, concentrating on people in our own country seems more sensible. As we all know, because we have a better understanding of our own country’s poor conditions than foreigners, so helping domestic people is more efficient for a local charity. And we have to admit the fact that not all organizations have capacity to help the people outside the nation. So it is likely that helping foreigners in greater need seems to be within sight but is actually beyond reach. In a word, I believe that concentrating on domestic poor people for most of the organizations is definitely better, but there are still some big and international charities which should undertake more responsibility on
this
. In
this
 way not only can some people abroad obtain assistance, but
also
 some charities can be
more efficient helping
Suggestion
more efficient in helping
 other people.
Submitted by Bryson Lee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • charity organizations
  • aid
  • greatest need
  • equality
  • fair distribution
  • resources
  • universal value
  • compassion
  • humanitarianism
  • global stability
  • economic growth
  • local needs
  • national unity
  • quality of life
  • social cohesion
  • inequality
  • domestic communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: