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Writing Samples
Band 5

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

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Irrefutably,
money
Use synonyms
 plays
very crucial role
Suggestion
a very crucial role
 in our lives, without which we cannot
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 our basic
requistics
express the need or desire for; ask for
requests
 like food, clothing and shelter. We must understand the
value
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 of
money
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 and impart the same to our children already aware the
value
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 of it and ways to handle cash while
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 says that
money
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 management skills should be included as part of
Use synonyms
school curriculum
Suggestion
the school curriculum
.
Although
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, let me elaborate both the views and concluded with my perspective.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
school
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 going children donor
require
Suggestion
requires
money
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 and find relevant about financial affairs in
subject
Suggestion
the subject
. All their necessities and things are taken care
by
Suggestion
of
 their
parents including
Accept comma addition
parents, including
pickup
Suggestion
pick up
 and drop from
school
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. These kids are very young and it is hard to explain the importance and benefits of
money
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 in
such
Linking Words
 a tender age.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin, who is 10 years old says that he does not want any
money
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 and not desire to know the
value
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 of it. Because his requirements are fulfilled by his father and mother. All
that is
Linking Words
 important for him to concentrate on studies and score good grades and finance related subjects can be studied during
degree course
Suggestion
the degree course
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some parents work on
day
Suggestion
a day
 to
day
Suggestion
day's
wages and
Accept comma addition
wages, and
 earn very poor wages which can only gratify their daily living. Even though they are struggling, they want their children to excel in study and able to attain
respectful position
Suggestion
a respectful position
the respectful position
 in the society. But their wards
donot
Suggestion
do not
 consider their parents assiduous works and never appreciate.
Linking Words
Instead they
Accept comma addition
Instead, they
 demand
money
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 for buying chocolates and clothes. Here comes the need to be aware of the
value
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 of
money
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 and tactics to take care of it. In a nutshell, even though the
money
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 is not important to
school
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children but
Accept comma addition
children, but
 some basic knowledge of
money
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, it's use and ways to manage should be inculcated in
school
Use synonyms
 curricula for their holistic development.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • curriculum
  • fiscal responsibility
  • money management
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • investing
  • adult population
  • financial decisions
  • educational systems
  • theoretical curriculum
  • practical life skills
  • real-life experience
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