Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Today several

Accept comma addition

Today, several

schools create a competitive environment with the help of applying competitions and quizzes. While some argue that it has positive effects on children, others believe

instead

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

method, team working skills should be taught and I

also

Linking Words

agree with the

second

Linking Words

view. On the one side, in most cases, a student puts full effort if there is any prize at the end which is the main point of

competition

Suggestion

the competition

. To achieve the feat, they study regularly and work hard which have positive effects on education. Accomplishing

goals makes

Suggestion

goals, make

goals make

pupil not only honoured student, but

also

Linking Words

he enjoys leading a class.

Moreover

Linking Words

, competitiveness teaches children leadership skills which are very helpful in their career path.

For example

Linking Words

, as a labour market is so competitive, participants who are familiar with

such

Linking Words

a situation in the school years know which actions are needed in these cases. On the other side, there is a myriad of activities

that is

Linking Words

not dependent on a man and demands team spirit. Obviously, the effectiveness of

coworking

the act of preparing something (as food) by the application of heat

cooking

is noticeable almost in all

scale

Suggestion

scales

and it is preferable in terms of time-consuming and generating good ideas which increase effectiveness and efficiency. Especially, big companies like Google and Microsoft are willing to involve different teams for not specific projects, but

also

Linking Words

daily tasks.

Moreover

Linking Words

, acquiring new skills and knowledge is more

accessible while

Accept comma addition

accessible, while

working in a team, because they share thoughts and for being much more productive teammates

also

Linking Words

help to overcome challenges which require novel ability. To conclude, considering

both sides of creating

Accept comma addition

both sides, creating

both sides creating

a competitive and non-competitive learning environment, it is

admittable

deserving of the highest esteem or admiration

admirable

that their impacts on children finish obtaining new skills. From my point of view, in modern society, people need soft skills much which is taught at school.

Ağarəhimov AğasıWed Jul 29 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

strive
healthy competition
real-world competition
excessive
stress
anxiety
win-at-all-costs
detrimental
character development
empathy
communication skills
group efforts
individual talents
self-reliance
independence
balanced approach
competitive learning environments
cooperative learning environments

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