governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself

#governments #care #support #people #responsibility #person #retirement

Everyone would be older, they could not do

any thing

an indefinite thing

anything

to earn money.

That is

a reason why

the oldest

Suggestion

the older

people always need authorities. But, there are many options that people who already retired have to take

care

themselve

reflexive form of "them"

themselves

, they should not base on the state. I completely disagree about that

options

Suggestion

option

Firstly

, almost elderly people do not want to create more pressure on their children and relatives. They would think their children live far from home

that is

not convenient

Suggestion

for

carying

move while supporting, either in a vehicle or in one's hands or on one's body

carrying

curing

carry-on

them.

For instance

, their children live far from home or they have already families, they must take

care

their babies and husband.

Therefore

oldest

Suggestion

older

peole

(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively

people

need to be taken by the governments.

In addition

, when they were young, some people have not good income, but they still take

care

thier

of them or themselves

their

families, so they could not prepare for retirement.

Secondly

, when they still have a

teenages

a juvenile between the onset of puberty and maturity

teenager

teenage

or young employees, they work hard for

thier

of them or themselves

their

families and contribute to

development

Suggestion

developing

develop

social.

Hence

, after they retired, they too old to do any jobs, governments should provide

care

or financial support for them to show gratefulness for their contribution. In

coclusion

a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration

conclusion

, everyone would be more older and could not earn money to

cary

Suggestion

Cary

care

carry

themselve

reflexive form of "them"

themselves

that a

reasons

Suggestion

reason

why people already retired really need governments.

Therefore

refers to the speaker or writer

strongly believe that the state should beside the elderly people to take

care

of them.

Submitted by Trúc Mi Nguyễn on Wed Jul 29 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself

Fully explain your ideas

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the dis advantages?

In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only sin cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting University studies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage for young people who decide to do this.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career , while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school . Dicuss both views and give your opinion .