IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?

#people #job #income #security #money #factor #factors
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Salary is considered by some people to be one of the most essential things while searching the place in career. In my view, there is
such
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 important parameter as person’s interest even if the man focuses on high and decent wage and the man’s aim is ensuring worthy living for the family, each individual should pay attention to the activity, which he is going to select, and need to rethink
this
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 choice.
Money
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 rules the world, not only it can destroy person’s
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life but
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life, but
 at the same time it can give a chance to travel and get an excellent education abroad.
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Moreover cash
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Moreover, cash
 lets us to buy food, pay for services and other expenses which surround almost throughout human way.
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However it
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However, it
 is necessary not to choose a position using only materialistic view of the world. The idea that your
job
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 can encourage you and give pleasure and satisfaction is so incredible and breathtaking.
In other words
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, people spend three fourths of their
life
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 at
work
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 and some men cannot imagine how not to
work
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 just for the sake of
money
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. The well-known
fact says
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fact, says
 that a person, who select favourite
job
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, is the best employer because
this
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work
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 does not draw back him but step up his career and makes him happy.
Although
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 having
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money improves
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money, improves
 level of
life
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, it is not the one way to be happy. When people seek to
work
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 using
job
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 agency or specific website, they usually look for future income, convenient schedule and location of the office.
For instance
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, convenient schedule is the major condition for students, which need with the opportunity to combine university and part-time
job
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. As well as schedule plays the significant role in
work
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 searching, office location
also
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 affects the decision because no one dream about long commuting to
work
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.
In other words
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, being surrounded by well-liked colleagues and comfortable environment is supported by most people to be more efficient and fruitful
work
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 and more valuable than any amount of
money
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. In conclusion,
money
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 is not an essential factor while seeking a
job
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, when a person can get attention to
such
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 parameters as colleagues,
work
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 conditions and fabulous feelings.
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Therefore our
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Therefore, our
life
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 would be happy and worthy, if more people strived towards satisfaction rather than
money
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.
Submitted by Евгения Хоменко on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • job satisfaction
  • fulfillment
  • mental health
  • aligns with
  • productive career
  • career progression
  • growth potential
  • work-life balance
  • flexible hours
  • telecommuting
  • vacation time
  • professional responsibilities
  • working environment
  • corporate culture
  • toxic environment
  • stress and burnout
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