IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.

#people #sport #part #school #life #children
Many think that sport is most important part of
school curriculum
Suggestion
the school curriculum
;
however
,
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 say it should be
choose
Suggestion
chosen
 according to interest. While there are some reasons for not taking it
serious
Suggestion
seriously
 as
subject
Suggestion
a subject
, but the advantages are far more if it is
compulsory
Suggestion
a compulsory subject
subject
. On the one hand, sports are totally wastage of time. The crucial time during exams should be devoted only on studying subjects for scoring better percentage.
Furthermore
, there is not better career opportunities in
this
 field as many scams like IPL auctions are hit
listed
Suggestion
list
lists
.
Secondly better
Accept comma addition
Secondly, better
 facilities or quotas are not given by government
for
Suggestion
to
 the players in many countries.
On the other hand
, sports help individuals to become a better version of themselves.
Firstly it
Accept comma addition
Firstly, it
 is important for mental and physical health of pupils because it creates the competitive spirit in them.
Secondly sports
Accept comma addition
Secondly, sports
 like hockey and football teaches cooperation skills and team work which is most important in today’s professional world.
Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
 generates the leadership skills which
is
Suggestion
are
 effective in
decision making process
Suggestion
the decision making process
. In my opinion, it should be a compulsory
subject
 in the school syllabus. Studying
this
subject
 teenagers develop the valuable qualities which helps them to confront the problems and provide confidence for survival in
this
 competitive world. To summarise
this
, while other subjects are absolutely an essential part of career building, sports are
also
 crucial for growth. Games provide strong stamina and healthy lifestyle.
Moreover
, it provides the practical experiences which
plays
Suggestion
play
 a crucial role in the life of an individual.
Submitted by anu gill on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: