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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast good. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #governments #tax #food
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Fast
food
Use synonyms
 has increased its popularity among some countries in
recent decade
Suggestion
recent decades
the recent decade
.
Linking Words
Consequently many
Accept comma addition
Consequently, many
 citizens of these countries suffer from health problems related to
this
Linking Words
 type of eating habit. There is
also
Linking Words
 a suggestion that
authorities
Suggestion
the authorities
 should impose higher tax rates on fast
food
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 to make it a less preferred option. In
this
Linking Words
assay
an analytic or interpretive literary composition
essay
 I will explain the relationship between fast
food
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 and health problems as well as reason why
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 support the idea of higher taxes on
this
Linking Words
food
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 type. With the expansion of many fast
food
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 companies, we can see fast
food
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 joints in almost every corner of the world;
therefore
Linking Words
 it is impossible to avoid them.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
food
Suggestion
the food
 they serve contains high sugar, fat and salt as well as many additives that stimulate the brain to consume more of them.
This
Linking Words
 leads to
development
Suggestion
the development
 of unhealthy eating habits for many consumers. Many studies have been conducted regarding
this
Linking Words
 issue and concluded that fast
food
Use synonyms
 causes many health
problems including
Accept comma addition
problems, including
 obesity, diabetes and heart failure.
Linking Words
Moreover studies
Accept comma addition
Moreover, studies
 show that countries that consumed fast
food
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 more had higher incidents of these diseases.
Linking Words
Therefore there
Accept comma addition
Therefore, there
 is a strong relationship between fast
food
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 and unhealthy population. Compared to its healthy counterparts, fast
food
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 costs less and has lower delivery time. These traits make it a convenient option for most people and leads to even more consumption. In order to reduce that, governments can impose higher tax rates on fast
food
Use synonyms
 which may reduce the development of
such
Linking Words
 unhealthy eating
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Linking Words
Therefore in
Accept comma addition
Therefore, in
long term
Suggestion
the long term
, we can reduce the incidents of related diseases and avoid having unhealthy generations. To conclude, there is an obvious cause-effect relationship between fast
food
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 and unhealthy population, so I support the solution that imposing higher tax rates on
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
Use synonyms
 for
healthier future
Suggestion
a healthier future
.
Submitted by jap on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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