IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These bar charts illustrate the average proportions of three types of nutrients in typical meals which may be harmful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health if eaten too much. The three types of nutrients are
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
. The situations are
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
. The first bar graph shows the average percentages of the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
 in the USA.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 contains the biggest proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
43%. Breakfast and snacks hold the same percentage of
sodium
Use synonyms
 consumed, with each of which are adding up to 14%. And when having lunch, 29% of
sodium
Use synonyms
consumed
Add a missing verb
is consumed
show examples
. The
second
Linking Words
 chart demonstrates the percentages of saturated fat in typical meals.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 contains the highest proportion of saturated fat consumed (37%). Lunch contributes to a
consumption
Use synonyms
 of 26% saturated fat, followed by snacks with 21% and breakfast with 16%. The
last
Linking Words
 chart shows the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
. Snacks overtake the biggest proportion
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
dinner
Use synonyms
 at 42%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
added
sugar
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 contains about 23% of the added
sugar
Use synonyms
 consumed
while
Linking Words
 breakfast includes 16% and lunch contains 19%. In conclusion, the bar chart shows that every typical meal consumed in the USA contains a percentage of at least 14% of nutrients that can be unhealthy
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
eaten
Add the auxiliary verb
ate
has eaten
show examples
 too much.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, consumption, dinner with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutrients
  • Unhealthy
  • Daily intake
  • Percentage
  • Carbohydrates
  • Fats
  • Proteins
  • Meals
  • Balanced diet
  • Consumption
  • Excess
  • Health implications
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Convenience foods
  • Fast foods
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Healthy eating habits
  • Dietary recommendations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: