IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

Nowadays, having a healthy lifestyle is basically a trend. As time passed by, the number of people who are known to be consuming healthy food,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, adding exercise as a part of
one's
Check wording
their
show examples
 daily routine, has
been undoubtedly
Correct word order
undoubtedly been
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 increasing. One reason why living a healthy life may be popular among people these days is that so many have
received an impact
Verb problem
been affected
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from
Change preposition
by
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 the deadly disease that has been going around. Knowing the dangerous effects, maintaining
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good health may occur to be an obsession
to
Change preposition
for
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 some.
Hence
Linking Words
, most will be encouraged to do the same in order to survive. There are some ways to persuade others to start being aware of the importance of being healthy, one of which would be making use of
any
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms. Given the development of technology in
this
Linking Words
 era, it is very easy for people, including fitness enthusiasts, to spread information and share personal beliefs.
For instance
Linking Words
, a fitness enthusiast who goes on social
media
Use synonyms
 may share their newest discovery regarding the negative effects of junk food
in
Change preposition
on
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 our bodies
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and the importance of working out.
As a result
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 users are likely to be influenced by these fitness enthusiasts,
thus
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 encouraged to live healthily. In conclusion, it is important to
keep being
Verb problem
stay
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 healthy in these difficult times. If we couldn't care less about our own well-being, we would
also
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 be putting others in danger.
Therefore
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, we should try to make an impact by making use of what we already have,
such
Linking Words
 as the unlimited access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your ideas before you write. A short plan can help you use one idea per paragraph and add a clear end.
vocabulary
Use simple, clear words. Some long words can make your writing hard to read. Keep short sentences.
content
Add more real examples or facts to back up the main points.
grammar
Check grammar in tricky sentences and break long lines into short ones.
content
Clear topic and task is seen in the essay.
coherence
Linking words show cause and result.
structure
Paragraphs move from intro to body to conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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