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Band 5.5

Small businesses should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#businesses #women #maternity
To an extend it is believed that small business should avoid recruiting young women who have a possibility to have children in the future to avoid paying maternity leave
late
Suggestion
later
 on. I strongly disagree with
this
 view and think that
this
 is gender bias against our capable female employees in the
workplace
.
To begin
 with, every woman has the right to have their own family and to enjoy any benefit
that is
 entitled to them which included maternity leave for mothers. Maternity leaves are designated to female employees who wanted to become mothers while continue contributing in their jobs. I firmly believe that women have the right to enjoy their time with their children and working ought not to be a hurdle to stop them from giving their time to their children especially when the children just born. Today, many women are more educated and capable than
men unlike
Accept comma addition
men, unlike
 the ancient times.
Therefore
, the ability and knowledge of female employees should not be denied for the fact that they are mothers. Following that, taking care the welfare of the female
employees especially
Accept comma addition
employees, especially
mothers is
Suggestion
mothers, are
mothers are
 a long-term investment for businesses.
For instance
, women who are mothers are highly efficient employees that are capable
in
Suggestion
of
 multitasking in both at home and
workplace
. Mothers are loyal employees who understood their responsibility and will not easily leave their job for the sake of their children. They are
also
 self-motivated workers who are eager to enhance themselves to educate their
children which
Accept comma addition
children, which
 company will benefit from these knowledgeable staffs. When female turn mothers, they have
also
 become matured in thought which will help them to be better leaders in their
workplace
. To conclude, it is only right for female employees to practice their rights in their
workplace
. I firmly believe that the knowledge and ability that female employees can contribute can truly make a great impact in their
workplace
 and there should their capability should not be
deny
Suggestion
denied
for
Suggestion
from
 the fact that they are mothers.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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