IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

More and more businesses as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face to face. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communicating.

#businesses #individuals #technology #face
Companies and organisations are promoting online tools for
collaboration
instead
 of face to face meetings. Even though these online tools promote less personal
interaction
 and innovation, employees are
benefitted
Suggestion
benefiting
 because of less time spend on commuting to
office
Suggestion
the office
 and more
flexibility
. In my opinion, companies should take a balanced
use
 of online tools for
collaboration
. The
use
 of online tools for communication boost employee
productivity
 and provide
flexibility
 at
work
. Employees spend a lot of precious time travelling to their office daily. Travelling increases traffic congestion on
the roads which in
Suggestion
the roads, which in
 turn increase pollution and contribute to
less
Suggestion
less productive
productivity
 at
work
. Studies have confirmed that road congestion is single biggest contributor to pollution and low
productivity
.
Furthermore
, online meetings promote greater
flexibility
 at
work
 and is an important incentive for the new generation of the workforce.
Therefore
 the
use
 of online tools is a great way to improve
productivity
 and
flexibility
 at
work
. Despite the benefits of using online tools, there are significant drawbacks while using online tools. In general, excessive
use
 of online tools
contribute
Suggestion
contributes
 to less creativity and reduced personal
interaction
.
Physical
Suggestion
A physical collaboration
collaboration
 between employees increase employee creativity.
For example
, great companies like Yahoo was unable to grow because of the lack of innovation which was caused due to reduced employee
interaction
. Large businesses are choosing to encourage employees to communicate using online
collaboration
 tools. Despite providing greater
flexibility
 and reducing the time
spend
Suggestion
spent
 by employees on the road there are significant drawbacks like reduced personal
interaction
 and creativity. In my opinion, companies encouraging a balanced
use
 of online tools along with physical meetings would be able to grow and innovate faster than companies that totally discourage physical meetings.
Submitted by josephthomas81 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: