IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many young people
work
Use synonyms
 on a volunteer basis and
this
Linking Words
 can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree that we all should force teenagers to do unpaid
work
Use synonyms
. Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies, without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time. The school is just as demanding as a full-time
work
Use synonyms
, and teachers expect their students to do homework and exam revision on top of attending lessons every day. As young people have free time, we should stimulate them to enjoy it with their friends or spend it doing sport and other leisure activities. They have many years of
work
Use synonyms
 ahead of they finish their studies. At the same time, I do not believe that society has anything to gain from obliging young people to do unpaid
work
Use synonyms
. In fact, I would argue that it goes against the values of a free and fair society to force a group of people something against their will. Doing
this
Linking Words
 can only lead to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they were being used and parents, who would not want to be talked about how to raise their children. Currently, nobody is forced to volunteer, and
this
Linking Words
 is definitely the best system. In conclusion, Teenagers could choice
work
Use synonyms
 for free and help others, but in my opinion, we should not make
this
Linking Words
 compulsory.
Submitted by se7enkieu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: