IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In virtually all developed countries around the world, rates of overweight and
obesity
Use synonyms
 have been rising alarmingly.
This
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 trend can be seen in all age groups
,
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apply
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 but is particularly worrying where
children
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 are concerned. Before looking at the consequences of childhood
obesity
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, it is necessary to examine the various interconnecting causes. There is no one cause of
obesity
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 in
children
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, but
instead
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 a variety of contributing factors. There is a growing body of evidence that certain genes predispose young people to be obese.
However
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, environment and lifestyle still play a major role.
Children
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 today lead far more sedentary lives than those in the past;
instead
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 of playing sports and games
outdoors
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outdoors,
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 they are more likely to spend their time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. Even though they use little energy, they consume large numbers of calories in the form of junk food and soft drinks, and these excess calories are likely to manifest as weight gain. Whatever the causes of juvenile
obesity
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, the effects are extremely serious. People who have weight problems when they are
children
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 will in all likelihood have a lifelong struggle with their weight, which in turn can lead to serious health problems
such
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 as diabetes and heart disease. In some extreme
cases
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cases,
show examples
 they might not even make it to adulthood. There have been cases of
children
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 as young as eight suffering from heart Access --DELETED LINK-- for more
practices
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practice
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 page 3 attacks linked to
obesity
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.
To sum up
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,
it is clear that
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obesity
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 in
children
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 is one of the major health issues facing developed nations today. Unless governments make a serious investment in examining and dealing with both the genetic and environmental causes of
this
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 problem, it is one
that is
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 likely to grow.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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