It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is an indisputable fact that travelling around the world plays an important role in sharpening one’s mind.

Although

travelling is associated with some threats like safety and fear of theft, I agree that these play a minimal role when compared with

advantages

Suggestion

the advantages

. On the one hand, there are a couple of concerns people face while travelling to new places.

Firstly

, some travel enthusiasts feel making a memorable trip, with

such

ideology, they plan some adventurous activities

Suggestion

visiting new places. But they fail to understand that there would be no proper guidance or supervisor’s set-up to monitor their activities. As there would be lack of expert supervision in

such

activities, many tourists are likely to meet with accidents and even lose their lives.

For example

, in 2019, a survey report showed that 30% of the 62 travelling destinations across the globe are

failed

Suggestion

failing

to maintain safety standards as per tourist’s requirements.

Secondly

, travelling new places

also

create a fear of being theft. Because the majority of the tourist attractions

do not consists

Suggestion

do not consist

of a primary income source, local people are inclined towards making easy money from visitors.

As a result

, in many

cases tourists

Accept comma addition

cases, tourists

are robbed because of which it makes them difficult to reach back their homelands.

On the other hand

, travelling

also

has some potential benefits over these drawbacks. Primarily, it has a proven evidence of mind healing when a person is undergoing some disturbance in their life. In order to forget the past and avail a break from the present, visiting new places provides a sort of mental peace because of meeting new cultures and traditions. Nowadays,

this

theory is being suggested by psychiatrists as a part of their treatment process.

Furthermore

, travelling helps to direct thinking process in children. In recent times, it has been adopted by many schools and followed

mandatorily

by taking students on excursion for a day in a year. As students will be tied-up with the regular academic activities,

such

outings will help them to refresh and recharge their minds. In conclusion, despite the fact that drawbacks constituted with travel, I feel that there are some potential benefits that are associated with it will encourage us to look forward.

Submitted by dhanu.illuri on Sat Aug 08 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

368 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include : &Where you stayed. & What the problems were. & How they can fix your complaints.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school leavers in most countries. How far do you agree with this assessment?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?