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School nowadays prohibit the use of mobile phones. Is this positive or negative development?

#school #phones #development
Nowadays schools have restricted the
use
 of mobile phones among students.
This
 restriction has brought a debate among people, whether
this
 will bring benefits or harm among students? In my point of view,
such
 restriction will improve the learning and will make students physically and socially active
thus
 bringing a clear benefit to them. Restricting mobile
phone
use
 improves the learning among students.
This
 is simply because they can concentrate on the activities of
school
Suggestion
the school
. If they do not have mobile phones, which they often
use
 to check messages, social media updates, they could focus on all the lessons that the teacher is delivering to them.
This
 phenomenon has been observed in an experiment conducted by the Department of education in the Philippines in one
school
. The grades of all students improved when the
school
 restricted
phone
use
 among students. It can be seen that when
phone
Suggestion
the phone
a phone
 is restricted students learning is better.
In addition
,
this
 could improve the well-being of students. With limited
phone
use
, that usually consumes their free time, they may engage in more meaningful activities
such
 playing games and chatting with classmates.
This
 will result to better physical health and will
also
 improve the social aspect among students.
In contrast
, if
school
Suggestion
the school
a school
 does not restrict
phone
use
, students may become physically and socially inactive because they may spend most of the time checking social media updates and watching videos alone glued to the screen. Restriction of
phone
use
 provides an opportunity to do a more meaningful activity. To sum it up, though mobile phones are essential nowadays in communication and in obtaining information, drawing the line in
phone
use
 among students can improve their learning and can
also
 help them become more engaged in physical and social activity.
Thus
Accept comma addition
Thus, this
this
 has a benefit to them.
Submitted by noel_baltazar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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