IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

more and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city.How can government make urban life better for everyone?

#people #cities #search #life #difficulties #city #government
Over the period of time, urbanisation has increased at an alarming rate.The main purpose of people moving to cities is to avail themselves of the facilities and opportunities that a
city
 offers which will
hence
, upgrade their lifestyle.
However
, with
growing population
Suggestion
the growing population
a growing population
 in the
city
, people are facing problems on a daily basis. One of the difficulties that urban people face is
uncontrolable
difficult to solve or alleviate
uncontrollable
 traffic.There is no doubt that the
city
 has smaller roads because it is surrounded by tall buildings everywhere.
Nonetheless
, people are driving private vehicle to travel elevates the situation.
In addition
, people are always complaining as they are unable to reach their destination on time.Other than that,
city
Suggestion
the city
a city
 does not retain enough public parks and open space due to which people who are residing there are facing difficulties to spend quality time with nature
,
Accept space
,
 as all they can see is skyscrapers and people pushing each other in order to get some fresh air while walking.
Therefore
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 can play an imperative role to uplift the quality of living for urban people. At
first
, increasing train facilities can curtail the use of vehicles, thereby people can avoid being stuck in the traffic for hours as they would have an easy access to transportation during busy hours.
Secondly
, the
government
 should only authorise
housing infrastructure
Accept comma addition
housing, infrastructure
 which includes parks and other entertainment services for children and old people. Meanwhile, the elected
government
 should encourage more green rather than making the
city
, forest of buildings. These parks and playing grounds will give the people in
city
 an opportunity to relax and socialise. Coming to the conclusion, inevitable traffic and the tall buildings consequences can be avoided by the
government
 by frequent train services and including more parks in public areas and housings so
,
Accept space
,
 that the residents can have a better life.
Submitted by sakshigoelsg1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: