IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?

#countries #europe #children #age #schools #skills #job #education #students #world #work
Nowadays
job
 market grows faster than ever before and new kind of jobs are appearing everyday, European
job
 market is no exception. In order to adjust to these rapid changes and to be better prepared for the
future
, kids from the age of 11 to 13 go to schools where they focus on acquiring practical skills that they may need in their employment when they grow up, but is it the right approach? On one hand, it makes sense that there are schools who focus more on teaching children the
skillset
Suggestion
skill set
that is
 required for their dream
job
. One the other hand, they are unwillingly creating boundaries for themselves in
future
 choices.
For instance
, statistically most children of
this
 age usually want to become an
astronauts
Suggestion
astronaut
, which implies studying arithmetics and physics, but the majority of them will change their opinion whey they group up.
Student
Suggestion
The student
A student
 may decide to drastically change their career choice from astronaut to
translator
Suggestion
translate
, the consequence of
this
 change would be wasted time.
Moreover
, they would have to catch up to those who were focusing on studying languages right away. In my opinion, all schools must teach their students go to basics on any
job
 today. Having great written and verbal communication skills, advance knowledge of computer are a great
examples
Suggestion
example
 of most common qualifications that employer seeks in candidate today. All of these can be taught using
standart
a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated
standard
 curriculum, but something like computer literacy may require a separate lesson. To summarise, youth can have a vague vision of their
future
, by teaching them
skillset
Suggestion
a skill set
skill set
that is
 required for almost any
job
, will increase chances of employment, as people who graduated school will spend time on acquiring skills that they actually need in the
future
, using the base they learned at school.
Submitted by albiesiedina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training programs
  • curriculum
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication skills
  • career guidance
  • counseling
  • internships
  • apprenticeships
  • local industries
  • businesses
  • digital literacy
  • technological skills
  • entrepreneurship
  • innovation
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: