The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the
health
care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more
sport
and exercise in
schools
. In my opinion, I completely agree that
this
is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public
health
in relation to weight.
Firstly
, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
approach and introducing more
sport
and exercise in
schools
.
This
method will ensure that the next generation will be healthier and will not have
such
health
problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does
sport
possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their
otherwise
sedentary lifestyle.
However
, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum
as well as
encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for
children
in
schools
will probably result in
children
developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a
longer lasting
Add a hyphen
longer-lasting
show examples
effect. In other words, parents with sporty
children
are more likely to get involved in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
as a way of encouraging their
children
. By both parents and
children
being involved, it will ensure that
children
grow up to incorporate
sport
into their daily lives.
This
is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public
health
. In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing
sport
in
schools
is the easiest and most effective method to use.
Submitted by Andy on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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