The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the
health
care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more sport
and exercise in schools
. In my opinion, I completely agree that this
is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health
in relation to weight. Firstly
, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long term
approach and introducing more Add a hyphen
long-term
sport
and exercise in schools
. This
method will ensure that the next generation will be healthier and will not have such
health
problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does sport
possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their otherwise
sedentary lifestyle. However
, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum as well as
encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for children
in schools
will probably result in children
developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a longer lasting
effect. In other words, parents with sporty Add a hyphen
longer-lasting
children
are more likely to get involved in sport
as a way of encouraging their Fix the agreement mistake
sports
children
. By both parents and children
being involved, it will ensure that children
grow up to incorporate sport
into their daily lives. This
is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public health
. In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing sport
in schools
is the easiest and most effective method to use.Submitted by Andy on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite