Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is hanving a negative effect on children. To extent what do you agree

A few years ago, the social media didn't develop in Vietnam. So news about famous people have been confined to
gossip column
Suggestion
a gossip column
in
newspaper s
a daily or weekly publication on folded sheets; contains news and articles and advertisements
newspapers
, and not many people knew them.
Nowaday
Suggestion
Nowadays
, almost people in Vietnam are using the social media, especially is children.
young
Suggestion
Younger
Young
generations have been
atracted
direct toward itself or oneself by means of some psychological power or physical attributes
attracted
erected
entrusted
by the outside beauty and
luxyry
something that is an indulgence rather than a necessity
luxury
life of celebrities. They were curious and excited in following those celebrities. Gradually, they became idols of children, played an important portion in their life. I think that
this
problem
need
Suggestion
needs
to be argued for people to see if the
coverage media of
Suggestion
media coverage of
celebrities is having negatively effect on children.
Nowaday
Suggestion
Nowadays
,
Accept space
,
some people are famous for their extravagant words
instead
of their achievements. So children should be taught how to distinguish celebrities and
notorietly
the state of being known for some unfavorable act or quality
notoriety
. Children are easy to take a cure from trendy
phenomanons
any state or process known through the senses rather than by intuition or reasoning
phenomenon
and bad things will
affect to children
Suggestion
affect children
. I can't deny that some true celebrities motivated children to be better. But most of them are negative effects. Children spent so much time to find it out and discussed about it every place. In fact,
they are wasting of
Suggestion
they are wasting
time because of meaningless things. The attention in celebrities will blur some important things in their
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
as: their family, their health or knowledge. The coverage media
of
Suggestion
by
celebrities affected both consciousness and
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
of children. Children lifestyle
have changed
Suggestion
has changed
. They
perefered
more desirable than another
preferred
outside beauty to inside essence.
Moreover
,
society
Suggestion
society's
vices
have happen
Suggestion
have happened
more popular than before
such
as
ancolholic
characteristic of or containing alcohol
alcoholics
, game
addicttion
being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs)
addiction
addicting
addictions
, school violence,... All of those adverse
consequence
Suggestion
consequences
are impacted by a part of celebrities. They pushed children to live in a virtual world and have a distort view. In conclusion, parents should care their children carefully to reduce
negative influence
Suggestion
the negative influence
of
this
problem.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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