Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is hanving a negative effect on children. To extent what do you agree

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children

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A few years ago, the social media didn't develop in Vietnam. So news about famous people have been confined to

gossip column

Suggestion

a gossip column

newspaper s

a daily or weekly publication on folded sheets; contains news and articles and advertisements

newspapers

, and not many people knew them.

Nowaday

Suggestion

Nowadays

, almost people in Vietnam are using the social media, especially is children.

young

Suggestion

Younger

Young

generations have been

atracted

direct toward itself or oneself by means of some psychological power or physical attributes

attracted

erected

entrusted

by the outside beauty and

luxyry

something that is an indulgence rather than a necessity

luxury

life of celebrities. They were curious and excited in following those celebrities. Gradually, they became idols of children, played an important portion in their life. I think that

this

Linking Words

problem

need

Suggestion

needs

to be argued for people to see if the

coverage media of

Suggestion

media coverage of

celebrities is having negatively effect on children.

Nowaday

Suggestion

Nowadays

Accept space

some people are famous for their extravagant words

instead

Linking Words

of their achievements. So children should be taught how to distinguish celebrities and

notorietly

the state of being known for some unfavorable act or quality

notoriety

. Children are easy to take a cure from trendy

phenomanons

any state or process known through the senses rather than by intuition or reasoning

phenomenon

and bad things will

affect to children

Suggestion

affect children

. I can't deny that some true celebrities motivated children to be better. But most of them are negative effects. Children spent so much time to find it out and discussed about it every place. In fact,

they are wasting of

Suggestion

they are wasting

time because of meaningless things. The attention in celebrities will blur some important things in their

life

Accept comma addition

life, such

such

Linking Words

as: their family, their health or knowledge. The coverage media

Suggestion

celebrities affected both consciousness and

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

of children. Children lifestyle

have changed

Suggestion

has changed

. They

perefered

more desirable than another

preferred

outside beauty to inside essence.

Moreover

Linking Words

society

Suggestion

society's

vices

have happen

Suggestion

have happened

more popular than before

such

Linking Words

ancolholic

characteristic of or containing alcohol

alcoholics

, game

addicttion

being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs)

addiction

addicting

addictions

, school violence,... All of those adverse

consequence

Suggestion

consequences

are impacted by a part of celebrities. They pushed children to live in a virtual world and have a distort view. In conclusion, parents should care their children carefully to reduce

negative influence

Suggestion

the negative influence

this

Linking Words

problem.

Submitted by Andy on Sat Aug 15 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Celebrity culture
Glamorization
Unrealistic expectations
Self-esteem
Scandals
Role models
Moral development
Mental health
Influence
Exposure
Social media platforms
Charity work
Inappropriate behavior
Perfection image
Negative impact
Inspire children

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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is hanving a negative effect on children. To extent what do you agree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

You recently attended a metting at a hotel. When you retured home, you found you had left some important papenrs at the hotel. ●say where you think you left the papers ●explain why they are so important ●tell the manager what you want him/her to do

‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly , so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. Do you agree or disagree with the given statement ?