Some think we should take more measures to deal with criminals. However, others think that there is not much we can do to curb law breaking. Discuss both views and give opinion

Crime

Use synonyms

is a serious and growing problem in most societies.

Although

Linking Words

many people believe that the best way to tackle

this

Linking Words

is to take more

measures

Use synonyms

to deal with criminals, others are of the opinion that

Linking Words

This

Fix capitalization

this

show examples

is not very effective. On the one hand, we can enact and improve many new

measures

Use synonyms

to cope with the increasing number of crimes.

For example

Linking Words

, putting

Use synonyms

crime

Replace the word

criminals

show examples

in jail for longer periods is one of the most effective ways because spending a long time in

prison

Use synonyms

provides an opportunity for the

prison

Use synonyms

services to rehabilitate a prisoner.

For example

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, someone who has committed a serious offence

such

Linking Words

as rape will need a long time in

prison

Use synonyms

in order to be sure they can be re-educated not to re-offend.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, longer

prison

Use synonyms

sentences will act as a deterrent for someone who is thinking of committing a

crime

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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, despite introducing more

measures

Use synonyms

to deal with crimes, there are still many limitations in enforcing them.

For example

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, in Brazil, slums still exist

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

this

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

the largest drug outlet in South America

with

Punctuation problem

, with

show examples

many illegal businesses

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

covered by police and law

organizations

Use the right word

organisations

show examples

Therefore

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, even though more penalties are issued, it is useless when even law enforcement people violate the law.

In addition

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, the government can focus resources on the causes of

crime

Use synonyms

, which will lead to fewer crimes in the future than just issuing more

measures

Use synonyms

without regard to the outcome. In conclusion, many countries have

strict

Correct article usage

a strict

show examples

legal system, but

crime

Use synonyms

has continued to increase throughout the world, so

it is clear that

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is not completely effective. So, I think we should pay more attention to the quality of the legal system than the number of laws enacted.

Andy

Aug 15, 2020

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task response

Be clear on your view in the first paragraph and restate it at the end.

coherence

Make the two ideas in each body paragraph clear. Start with a topic sentence and show how it links to your view.

cohesion

Use better links to join ideas. Use words like also, but, so, however.

grammar

Fix grammar and word use. For example, 'in jail longer' is ok; 're-educated' is odd; use 'learn not to do again'.

task response

Give one or two clear examples. Do not go too far to talk of many places.

process

Plan the essay first: write a short plan with four parts.

structure

Clear plan with four parts (intro, two body, conclusion).

content

Speaks on both sides and ends with view.

coherence

Uses linking words like on the one hand / on the other hand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime prevention
crime control
law enforcement
deterrence
punishment
rehabilitation
recidivism
root causes
community empowerment
public awareness
legal literacy
partnerships
comprehensive approaches
holistic approaches

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Some think we should take more measures to deal with criminals. However, others think that there is not much we can do to curb law breaking. Discuss both views and give opinion

Your opinion

These days, poverty has become a serious issue around the world. What are the problems that can occur because of this issue and suggest some solutions to overcome this problem.

Many cities are investing in public transport systems to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of improving public transpondation.

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity, what is your opinion?

People these days buy things that they do not even need. Why do you think people buy unwanted things? Will this have a positive or negative effect on individual and society? What do you think?