The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that within a short span of time the development of a mobile phone is
commentable
worthy of high praise
commendable
. In my opinion, we,
humans hugely
Accept comma addition
humans, hugely
depend on
this
piece of equipment in our day to day
life
;
therefore
, the
life
can be planned intellectually. One significant point here is
organisation
Suggestion
organised
of
Suggestion
on
a day with much precision.
In other words
,
this
gadget assists to plan to do list based on the priority and a special software remind the user to act at
correct timing
Suggestion
the correct timing
.
For example
, alarm clock gives a walk up call every morning and reminder tells whose birthday today or anniversary. By doing
these
denotes a person or thing
this
, the user can function more effectively since he would memorize to
fullfil
put in effect
fulfil
his responsibility at
right time
Suggestion
the right time
. Another reason why I think that depending on a smartphone is effective because many applications in the electronic devices would minimize the human work in a dramatic rate.
In other words
, there are different kinds of equipment are replaced by the mobile phone and
this
is
an
Suggestion
a
handy one, which can carry everywhere. Eventually,
this
is bought by millions as they
improves
Suggestion
improve
the work efficiency to a
highest
Suggestion
higher
point.
This
can easily understand,
for instance
, by calculating daily expenses and storing contacts
unlimitedly
to a server, which was previously done by the man himself. Alternatively, there is a chance of happening errors, if it is done by a human mind. In conclusion, currently, the digital devices, cell phones,
uses
Suggestion
use
all walks of
life
as
this
can change the way of people think, plan and live their
life
. I, strongly, believe that the device enables us to take
decision
Suggestion
a decision
the decision
decisions
wisely and skilfully.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective intelligence
  • reliant on technology
  • problem-solving
  • problem-solving
  • cognitive skills
  • critical thinking
  • knowledge acquisition
  • connectivity
  • knowledge sharing
  • cognitive overload
  • memory retention
  • brain-training apps
  • digital literacy
  • multitask
  • attention span
What to do next:
Look at other essays: