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Band 5.5

Nowadays, sports stars can earn a great deal of money from advertising expensive sporting goods and other products. What problems might this cause? Do you think this is a negative or positive development?

Sports and advertising are now very closely linked.
Thus
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, when we think of famous sports stars, we often inevitably think of the brand of clothing they wear.
This
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 can cause
problems but
Accept comma addition
problems, but
also
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 has a positive effect. Once they reach a certain level, sports stars or teams
are offered
Suggestion
are offering
offer
 generous sponsorship deals.
This
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 means that they receive large sums of money in return for advertising different companies. They are given these contracts because of their fans, many of whom are very young and want to copy them. As the products they endorse tend to be luxury goods, or expensive sports equipment,
this
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 puts pressure on families to spend money they may not have.
Moreover
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, the most popular sports are now associated with advertisements for betting and gambling, and many people are concerned about the impact
this
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 has on young sports fans.
Thus
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, the problems connected to
such
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 advertising should not be overlooked.
On the other hand
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, there are several positive effects.
Firstly
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, without advertising, it is unlikely that we would have the level of
sport
Use synonyms
 that exists today. Sponsorships allow modern-day sportsmen and women to focus on their
sport
Use synonyms
instead
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 of juggling practice with a more traditional job.
This
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 in turn encourages more young people to play
sport
Use synonyms
, and gives those who are talented enough a chance to turn their passion into a lucrative career. In fact, there have been several cases in football where children from very poor areas have transformed their lives thanks to
sport
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, there are clear benefits
for
Suggestion
of
sport
Use synonyms
 and sports professionals. In conclusion,
advertising sponsorships
Accept comma addition
advertising, sponsorships
 allow sports people and
sport
Use synonyms
itself
the thing named or in question
it
 to thrive.
Although
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 the type of products that can be advertised do need regulation, on the whole, I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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