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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, more and more children are being exposed to threats on the Internet. It is the parental and social responsibility to ensure that they are not negatively affected by these menaces. What online threats are children exposed to? What measures could be taken to mitigate the problem?

In
this
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 digital age, juveniles are often
preys
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prey
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of
Change preposition
to
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 online
threats
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.
Following
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this
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 essay is an in-depth insight into several
epitomes of menaces
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threats
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 confronting youngsters and some optimal solutions. It is widely agreed that inappropriate content
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such
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, such
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 as
pornography
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pornography,
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top
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tops
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 the list of concerns among foster parents and legal guardians. In fact, owing to the lack of censorship,
sexual-provoking
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sexually provocative
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 websites are accessible without a hitch;
thus
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, impressionable juveniles are likely to imitate
misconducts
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misconduct
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, leading to moral decay.
Furthermore
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, fueled by the rise of social media, the ubiquity of online
frauds
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fraud
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 is inevitable.
For example
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, anonymous Facebook users can trick any
teenagers
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teenager
show examples
 by asking for money, kidnapping, and
not
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, not
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least
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least,
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 online pedophiles.
In addition
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, innocent
children
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 may be prone to cyber-bullying.
For instance
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, exposure to acrimonious comments about their outlooks and distortion of their body images
result
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results
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 in mental breakdowns and low self-esteem.
Moreover
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, the plethora of adverts or mere images of consumer goods has created the most demanding, acquisitive, materialistic and entitled generation we have ever seen.
Consequently
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,
internet
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the internet
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 is breeding social
threats
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 to adolescents.
However
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, there are manifold pragmatic strategies to combat
this
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 issue. Protecting
children
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 online is, without a shadow of doubt, partly a technical and legal issue involving broadband and browser filters, but it is
also
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 a parenting issue. Parents should act as real-time censors to combat the manifold
threats
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 the internet poses to
children
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. That means online computers should be within your eye and earshot and not in a child's bedroom.
For instance
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, they can restrict time allocation for browsing
webs
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websites
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 and provide parental support or advice when online
threats
Use synonyms
 crop up. What is more, it is a truth universally acknowledged that no one can protect them better than themselves.
Hence
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, it is advocated that
children
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 should keep themselves up-to-date and avoid the pitfalls of
virtual
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the virtual
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 world. In conclusion, I firmly believe that child pornography and online
frauds
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fraud
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 are of utmost
concerns
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concern
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 among parents.
Therefore
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, everyone should take steps to forestall the spread of online
threats
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 and embrace
its
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their
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 benefits.

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development
Add more main ideas on how to stop threats, and show a clear plan with steps to stay safe online.
practical
Give more real life steps in a simple way, such as school talk, set time for screen use, report abuse, use filters and safe sites.
language
Use only easy words. Check spelling and form. Avoid hard words and keep aims simple.
structure
Make sections clear. Start with problem, then effect, then plan to fix. Use linking words like first, next, also, finally.
structure
Intro and conclusion show a task focus.
content
The essay gives some examples of threats and ways to help.
content
The writer tries to keep to a plan and give steps to stay safe.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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