Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

It is
agrue
united by being of the same opinion
agreed
argue
agree
that whether women should participate in military like men or not. While some people think women should be given chance to choose military as a career
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
think some disadvantages of joining
military
Suggestion
the military
of women is quite significant. On the one hand, it is undeniable that women possess intelligence as good as men, even sometimes they are trusted more than men by their carefulness. They have
also
contributed significantly to the successes in some vital areas
such
as government or military.
For example
, Bui Thi Xuan is an outstanding female general of Tay
Son who
Accept comma addition
Son, who
led Vietnamese soldiers to defeat invaders from Qing dynasty.
Besides
, letting women join the army
also
shows advances about sexual equality. Through thousands of
year
Suggestion
years
in the past,
military
Suggestion
the military
was considered as a
men
Suggestion
man's
men's
responsibility.
Therefore
, when women embark on military,
this
not only helps men to reduce the burden, but
also
make them more sympathy
to
Suggestion
for
with
men.
Moreover
, when some of women get achievements in military, they will be more confident and they can raise their position which leads to more
possitive
characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.
positive
views of sexists.
On the other hand
, because
millitary
Suggestion
the military
military
is a career that requires strength a lot, men have
overwhelming advantage
Suggestion
an overwhelming advantage
the overwhelming advantage
overwhelming advantages
compared to women when men are biologically much
more strong
Suggestion
stronger
than women. Women
is
Suggestion
are
likely to
find more
Accept comma addition
find, more
difficult to take military equipment or walk in a long distance. In conclusion,
although
there are some reasons supporting women to join the military,
refers to the speaker or writer
I
i believe that they
also
should consider carefully about choosing it as their career
Submitted by Andy on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • combat roles
  • physical prowess
  • stamina
  • dynamics
  • cohesion
  • resilience
  • integration
  • gender disparities
  • morale
  • recruitment
  • retention
  • biological differences
  • stereotypes
  • feminism
  • glass ceiling
  • break barriers
  • pioneer
  • groundbreaking
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