Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

#people #women #army #navy #air #force #men

It is

agrue

united by being of the same opinion

agreed

argue

agree

that whether women should participate in military like men or not. While some people think women should be given chance to choose military as a career

Accept space

refers to the speaker or writer

think some disadvantages of joining

military

Suggestion

the military

of women is quite significant. On the one hand, it is undeniable that women possess intelligence as good as men, even sometimes they are trusted more than men by their carefulness. They have

also

contributed significantly to the successes in some vital areas

such

as government or military.

For example

, Bui Thi Xuan is an outstanding female general of Tay

Son who

Accept comma addition

Son, who

led Vietnamese soldiers to defeat invaders from Qing dynasty.

Besides

, letting women join the army

also

shows advances about sexual equality. Through thousands of

year

Suggestion

years

in the past,

military

Suggestion

the military

was considered as a

men

Suggestion

man's

men's

responsibility.

Therefore

, when women embark on military,

this

not only helps men to reduce the burden, but

also

make them more sympathy

Suggestion

for

with

men.

Moreover

, when some of women get achievements in military, they will be more confident and they can raise their position which leads to more

possitive

characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.

positive

views of sexists.

On the other hand

, because

millitary

Suggestion

the military

military

is a career that requires strength a lot, men have

overwhelming advantage

Suggestion

an overwhelming advantage

the overwhelming advantage

overwhelming advantages

compared to women when men are biologically much

more strong

Suggestion

stronger

than women. Women

Suggestion

are

likely to

find more

Accept comma addition

find, more

difficult to take military equipment or walk in a long distance. In conclusion,

although

there are some reasons supporting women to join the military,

refers to the speaker or writer

i believe that they

also

should consider carefully about choosing it as their career

Submitted by Andy on Sun Aug 16 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
combat roles
physical prowess
stamina
dynamics
cohesion
resilience
integration
gender disparities
morale
recruitment
retention
biological differences
stereotypes
feminism
glass ceiling
break barriers
pioneer
groundbreaking

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Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

Today, many people are suffering from health problems because of fast food the Government should tax higher fast food what is your opinion about this?

Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much as time as they should with their families or on lesisure activites. What is your opion ?

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?