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Writing Samples
Band 4

In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planets
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Nowadays, with the climate change and its consequences, people tend to think of finding other planets to live rather than the Earth;
thus
Linking Words
, more
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on
astronaut field
Suggestion
the astronaut field
 as they think.
However
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, in my opinion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view for several reasons.
Rirst
preceding all others in time or space or degree
First
Worst
 of all, using more
money
Use synonyms
 for
reasearching
systematic investigation to establish facts
researching
 other planets is impractical. As can be seen obviously, the infrastructure and facilities are good enough to
do
engage in
make
 space investment.
people
Suggestion
People
 now have
International space Station
Suggestion
an International space Station
 between USA and
Russia which
Accept comma addition
Russia, which
 shows that there have been a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 paid for
this
Linking Words
 scientific area to continue the path of seeking for a livable
planets
Suggestion
planet
.
In contrast
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, the result to find out a new one to live in is still ambiguous. Scientists haven't given any confirmation whether people are able to spread their livelihood in any planets
on
Suggestion
in
this
Linking Words
 galaxy for a long period of time.
Second
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, it is more important for the governments
to spend
Suggestion
spend
 public
money
Use synonyms
 on projects improving the quality of
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and people lives on earth. The nature has been damaged at an ever-increased level, which leads to harsh climate and the extinction of species
in
Suggestion
on
this
Linking Words
 planet.
Hence
Linking Words
, people should take
actions
Suggestion
action
 to protect the earth
first
Linking Words
 since they cannot find other suitable places to reside in right now.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the increase of global warming is the consequence of the lack of public awareness of global citizens. People prefer having more profits for themselves and their companies to the benefits of the environment and dare destroying the eco-system just to be provided with
money
Use synonyms
. Because of these problems, it is vital to
fund
come upon, as if by accident; meet with
find
 more on education in order to provide wider knowledge on
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and build awareness for children, the future citizens. In conclusion, it is now not necessary to
fund
come upon, as if by accident; meet with
find
 more on space research because there are more remain factors need to be
cared
move while supporting, either in a vehicle or in one's hands or on one's body
carried
 in
case
Suggestion
the case
a case
 of protecting and preserving the life on Earth.
Submitted by Andy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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