IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#children’s #education #countries #government #costs
It is true that nowadays the expense of children’s schooling is quite expensive in some countries. While some people argued that the authorities ought to have responsibility for some or whole the cots, I believe
this
 trend is the drawbacks are more significant. On the one hand, paying for some or whole
education
’s expense
by
Suggestion
of
 the
government
 is beneficial in a few aspects.
First
 and foremost, children in poor regions may have an opportunity to approach to
education system
Suggestion
an education system
the education system
 that regardless of their financial background.
This
 is because of most children that living in remote or rural areas find it difficult to go to school due to poverty. Another advantage is the parents could relieve a burden of paying schooling’s price for their children.
As a result
, they could accumulate a large amount of money to meet their demands, which could range from food preparation, accommodation to the
cost
for
Suggestion
of
 daily activities, and even healthcare.
On the other hand
, I believed that the disadvantages of paying for children’s
education
 by the authority are more significant. In order to have a sufficient amount of money which could
cost
 for children’s schooling, the citizens have to pay more money in taxes. If the
government
 could not have an appropriate budget, they could not pay for children’s
education
.
Furthermore
, if the children
are paid
Suggestion
have paid
are paying
pay
 for their
education
cost
 by the
government
, they would take
education
 for granted.
This
 is because not something they must pay to receive, they will not try their best to achieve good academic results.
Finally
, if too many children go to school at the same time, the
education
 system could be overloaded.
Hence
, the
government
 has to shoulder a burden again about institution to meet a rise in demand of schooling. In conclusion,
although
 paying the
cost
 for children’s
education
 is advantageous in a few ways, it seems to me that children’s schooling should be paid by their family.
Submitted by datkhoa121 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: