IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter because I am interested in your
gym
Use synonyms
 membership. Before joining your
gym
Use synonyms
, I want some basic details.
To begin
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 with, could you please provide me with information related to the types of memberships which you offer to your clients
along with
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 the prices, so that I can make a quick decision. Since I am living in your neighbourhood it is very easy for me to reach
this
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 place every day. Apart from that, I am keen to know about other extra activities which are offered to the customers by your
gym
Use synonyms
 like yoga, swimming and coaching services as it is very common in other gyms.
Besides
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 that, could you please share the applications process which I have to follow to be part of your
gym
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
, from which site I can download the admission form and what is the time limit for completion,
as well
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as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, do I need to submit any documents as an identity proof
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Thank you for your precious time and I hope you will reply back with the required details. Yours faithfully Arsh deep

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down some of the longer sentences to improve readability and ensure that each paragraph contains a single idea.
task achievement
Clarify the steps involved in the application process, giving specific details if possible, to enhance the completeness of your response.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a polite and formal tone throughout, which is appropriate for the context.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing of the letter are correctly and effectively used.
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