People today generally have better lives than people in the past did. To what extent do you agree or disagree.?

Life of humans

have changed

Suggestion

has changed

as compared to ancient

time

due to westernization, globalization and urbanization.In my perspective, people are spending better life these days as compared to

ancient

Suggestion

an ancient time

ancient times

time

and my viewpoints on

this

issues

Suggestion

issue

will be elaborated in the aforementioned paragraphs.

To begin

with, these days due to the advancement of technology people use computers, laptops, mobile phones which has changed the communication process of the people because in previous

time

there were fewer method of interacting with people and they were unable to contact each other because of limited transportation sources and communication methods.

For instance

, during old

time

pigeons were sent from one place to another in order to convey their

message but

Accept comma addition

message, but

this

modern era individuals

use

to the same degree (often followed by 'as')

mobile phones, computers through which they can

engage in

make

video calls and send voice messages.

Furthermore

, during previous

time

there were limited sources of collecting

knowledge but these

Suggestion

knowledge, but these

days people are using

internet

Suggestion

the internet

and various other books which are the fastest way of acquiring any kind of knowledge and information

Accept space

Another difference is that during old

time

there were less educational institute and people were not

literate but

Accept comma addition

literate, but

these days there are so many educational

institute

Suggestion

institutes

Accept space

To recapitulate, I would like to write that people are enjoy

ing better

Suggestion

a better life

better lives

life as compared to old

time

because of the availability of facilities new facilities

Submitted by raman on Wed Aug 19 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Familiarity
Comfort
Social ties
Family ties
Belonging
Resources
Opportunities
Fear
Unknown
Financial constraints
Cultural attachment
Language barriers
Limited education
Skills

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Fully explain your ideas

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