Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

#people #home #age #city #move #cities

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For more desirable job opportunities or better education, many young

people

these days leave their houses and live away from their families.

This

trend has both benefits and drawbacks which will be elucidated in

this

essay. I personally feel that it has more advantages as leaving home for

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

education or career is the right step to take. If young

people

live separately, they learn to become self-reliant and make decisions independently.

For example

, when those young

people

live with their family, their parents do most of their work.

However

, when they start living far away, they learn to manage their time, clean the house, do laundry, cook, pay the bills, and so on. It has a huge advantage as it prepares them to become responsible adults.

Also

, they learn the value of money and try to spend it sensibly

while

also

saving it for the future.

Furthermore

, they make new friends and learn about diverse customs and cultures which is

also

a big advantage for those youths. Among the disadvantages, when those young

people

live alone, they need to take many responsibilities on their shoulders.

Initially

this

leads them to feel isolated, and they often feel depressed

as a result

Furthermore

, they are not always mature enough to avoid the pitfalls of bad company and habits. So, if they find inappropriate friends or roommates who have bad habits, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

probably get involved in unethical acts and crimes. Considering both the advantages and disadvantages, it seems reasonable to outline that sooner or later they will have to take up those responsibilities, and it is better that they face life and its challenges at a young age. In conclusion, from what has been discussed,

although

living alone in a city away from home for education and jobs may have some drawbacks for youngsters, it leads to more benefits for their personal and professional growth.

Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on Tue Jun 04 2024

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task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both reasons why young people move to cities and the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. However, the introduction could be slightly more engaging and precise.

task achievement

Try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your points. For instance, providing data or real-life case studies about young people moving to cities for education or job opportunities would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a consistent logical structure throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enriching the overall cohesion of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from a more detailed conclusion that succinctly summarizes the key points while reinforcing your stance. This will help the reader to clearly understand the takeaway message of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context and a logical conclusion that weighs the pros and cons nicely.

task achievement

You have effectively addressed both parts of the task, providing a comprehensive response to the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The essay showcases a clear structure with defined paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

314 words

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Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

“Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.”

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision.

People in your area are having problems with their internet connections. Write a letter to this company which provides the connection. In your letter Describe the problems. Explain how they are affecting people Say what the company should do to help.