Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?
For more desirable job opportunities or better education, many young
people
these days leave their houses and live away from their families. This
trend has both benefits and drawbacks which will be elucidated in this
essay. I personally feel that it has more advantages as leaving home for better
education or career is the right step to take.
If young Correct article usage
a better
people
live separately, they learn to become self-reliant and make decisions independently. For example
, when those young people
live with their family, their parents do most of their work. However
, when they start living far away, they learn to manage their time, clean the house, do laundry, cook, pay the bills, and so on. It has a huge advantage as it prepares them to become responsible adults. Also
, they learn the value of money and try to spend it sensibly while
also
saving it for the future. Furthermore
, they make new friends and learn about diverse customs and cultures which is also
a big advantage for those youths.
Among the disadvantages, when those young people
live alone, they need to take many responsibilities on their shoulders. Initially
, this
leads them to feel isolated, and they often feel depressed as a result
. Furthermore
, they are not always mature enough to avoid the pitfalls of bad company and habits. So, if they find inappropriate friends or roommates who have bad habits, they would
probably get involved in unethical acts and crimes.
Considering both the advantages and disadvantages, it seems reasonable to outline that sooner or later they will have to take up those responsibilities, and it is better that they face life and its challenges at a young age.
In conclusion, from what has been discussed, Wrong verb form
will
although
living alone in a city away from home for education and jobs may have some drawbacks for youngsters, it leads to more benefits for their personal and professional growth.Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both reasons why young people move to cities and the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. However, the introduction could be slightly more engaging and precise.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your points. For instance, providing data or real-life case studies about young people moving to cities for education or job opportunities would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent logical structure throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enriching the overall cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a more detailed conclusion that succinctly summarizes the key points while reinforcing your stance. This will help the reader to clearly understand the takeaway message of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context and a logical conclusion that weighs the pros and cons nicely.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both parts of the task, providing a comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay showcases a clear structure with defined paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.