Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that we can only be happy if we have an occupation we desire, while the others believe that other factors are far more vital. The question that happiness depends whether on favourite jobs or other factors
is
Suggestion
are
controversial. Is it true that getting a desirable job is the key to happiness? It’s absolutely right that it meets our job satisfaction basing on working performances. No matter how is the salary, we still can get it raised even getting promoted when we devote to doing jobs that we have
passion
Suggestion
a passion
for.
However
, there are few cases of
exention
a mutually agreed delay in the date set for the completion of a job or payment of a debt
extension
and these belong to the celebrities. Even though they have
successful career
Suggestion
successful careers
a successful career
, they do not seem to be happy. In fact, they have to face with many unexpected
rumors
gossip (usually a mixture of truth and untruth) passed around by word of mouth
rumours
.
Moreover
, it’s really annoying when the journalists and
paparazzis
Suggestion
paparazzi
try to look for detailed information of their private lives which they’re unwilling to disclose to the public.
Therefore
, if happiness doesn’t depend on favourite occupations, what factors does it depend on? Generally, It’s probably money. With money, people can purchase things they love and enjoy
many services
Suggestion
the many services
like health care, education... Personally speaking, I’m delighted when doing things like hanging out with friends and travelling. In conclusion, I accept that enjoyable jobs may give us pleasure.
Nevertheless
,
this
is not completely true as each job is greatly different. For most people, other factors are more significant.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: