Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

#people #job #love #factors

Some people think that we can only be happy if we have an occupation we desire, while the others believe that other factors are far more vital. The question that happiness depends whether on favourite jobs or other factors

Suggestion

are

controversial. Is it true that getting a desirable job is the key to happiness? It’s absolutely right that it meets our job satisfaction basing on working performances. No matter how is the salary, we still can get it raised even getting promoted when we devote to doing jobs that we have

passion

Suggestion

a passion

for.

However

, there are few cases of

exention

a mutually agreed delay in the date set for the completion of a job or payment of a debt

extension

and these belong to the celebrities. Even though they have

successful career

Suggestion

successful careers

a successful career

, they do not seem to be happy. In fact, they have to face with many unexpected

rumors

gossip (usually a mixture of truth and untruth) passed around by word of mouth

rumours

Moreover

, it’s really annoying when the journalists and

paparazzis

Suggestion

paparazzi

try to look for detailed information of their private lives which they’re unwilling to disclose to the public.

Therefore

, if happiness doesn’t depend on favourite occupations, what factors does it depend on? Generally, It’s probably money. With money, people can purchase things they love and enjoy

many services

Suggestion

the many services

like health care, education... Personally speaking, I’m delighted when doing things like hanging out with friends and travelling. In conclusion, I accept that enjoyable jobs may give us pleasure.

Nevertheless

this

is not completely true as each job is greatly different. For most people, other factors are more significant.

Submitted by Andy on Wed Aug 19 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Fully explain your ideas

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fee. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone.What extend do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for research. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that the good leaders are born, whereas others hold the opinion that leadership qualities can be obtained during the life.

Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.