In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

Changes in society in economy, culture, entertainment
an other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
fields have known as the result of the emergence of new features in human lifestyle which influence family relationship. I believe that the negative and positive effects
from
Suggestion
of
this
development are equal In terms of drawback, people pay too much attention on their virtual
life
which lead
to slice
Suggestion
to slicing
off time to interact with family members.
This
affect
Suggestion
affects
directly to the bond
among
Suggestion
between
people.
For instance
, a lot of people spend their whole day to
suft
move as if through a sieve
sift
shift
on
Suggestion
to
the internet to update news and interact with friends. As the results, less time to talk to family members exacerbate relationships.
Moreover
, these days, people are becoming more and
more carreer
Suggestion
more clear
more clearer
clearer
-
oriented which
Accept comma addition
oriented, which
lead to loss the balance between work and family
life
. To illustrate, some parents
too
Suggestion
in
to
mind about their business and less available at home due to
generation gap
Suggestion
the generation gap
with their children
However
, The
developmet
act of improving by expanding or enlarging or refining
development
also
brings positive effects to families. People interact with each other in social network more
espeacially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
young generation
Suggestion
the young generation
. Grasping
this
mentality, some parents take
advangatge
the quality of having a superior or more favorable position
advantage
of social
network
Suggestion
networking
as a tool to approach and talk to their kids as a friend which they never done in real
life
.
This
mounts
Suggestion
mount
family
effection
a positive feeling of liking
affection
affections
and
a
Suggestion
an
opportunity for parents can understand their children more.
Other
Suggestion
Another
typical
expample
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
is that the habit of communication via social networks rather than to face to face meeting helps family members who lives far away
form
a giver or sender
from
each other to show love care through the exchanges of messages and emotions or via voice or video calls.
This
new way of
connection
Suggestion
connecting
reduces trip back home of children but still keep strong attachment with their family
menbers
one of the persons who compose a social group (especially individuals who have joined and participate in a group organization)
members
member
. In
conclusion there
Accept comma addition
conclusion, there
are two
sides
Suggestion
side
impact that changes in
life
styles have caused to connections of
family member
Suggestion
family members
.
This
development
bring
Suggestion
brings
has brought
benefits or negative effects
which depending
Accept comma addition
which, depending
on the way
peole
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
use it
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • geographic separation
  • economic advancement
  • technological advancements
  • face-to-face interactions
  • egalitarian structures
  • gender roles
  • traditional roles
  • work demands
  • financial stability
  • access to education
  • healthcare
  • cultural shifts
  • traditions
  • cultural identity
  • family heritage
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