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Band 3.5

Some people believe that all teenagers should have to do unpaid work during their free time in order to help the local community. They think this would benefit the teenagers doing the unpaid work but also society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #society
When people
work
Accept comma addition
work, then
then
 it teaches them a lot of things.It is said by some individuals that youngsters should do volunteer
work
 in their leisure time in order to help the
society
 and
this
 will benefit the
society
 as well as teenagers both. I totally agree with the aforementioned statement and my viewpoints will be elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with,
first
 advantage of involving teenagers in any
work
 is that it will keep them busy and they will not indulge themselves in bad activities
such
 as stealing
,
Accept space
,
 pornography and drug addiction
.
Accept space
.
For instance
, a survey was conducted in the year of 2016 in India and its result was that
fifty percent population
Suggestion
the fifty percent population
 of youth in
metropolitican
relating to or characteristic of a metropolis
metropolitan
 cities is involved in drug addiction because of free time. So
,
Accept space
,
its
it is
it's
good way
Suggestion
a good way
 to involve them in
work
. Another benefit of it is that it will make youngsters more strong and they will learn some of the qualities like cooperation, patience
,
Accept space
,
 problem solving skill which will really them in future for becoming successful
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
 when young people will indulge themselves in some of
work
Suggestion
the work
 like educating the illiterate people from rural area, building public parks
,
Accept space
,
 planting trees
then
 it will bring happiness in the
society
. To recapitulate
,
Accept space
,
 I would like to write that it is a good idea to involve youngsters in the
work
 of
society
Suggestion
the society
.
Submitted by raman on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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