In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. Why is this happening? How should they be punished?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increase of young citizen’s
crime
rate
is a major topic of concern in today’s society. Some explanations for
this
problem will be put forward before a few possible solutions are presented. There are several significant reasons as to why crimes which were committed by students is increased. The
primarily
Suggestion
primary
reason is that nowadays, students are approaching with a large number of uncontrolled violent movies
such
as John Wick on the internet.
As a result
, they were affected by
cruel
Suggestion
the cruel
since from the films and have a desire for becoming
movies character
Suggestion
the movie character
movie character
movie's character
and started committing felonies. It is
also
thought that the fact that students were not educated about dangers and consequences of crimes
also
conductive to the increase in the
rate
of young criminals.
For example
,
since
Suggestion
for
Canadian pupils were taught about the negative influence of crimes, the teenage
crime
rate
is undoubtedly low, only about 7%. Some measures can be adopted to help
reducing
Suggestion
reduce
young people
crime
rates. An obvious solution is adjusting young people watching contents, encouraging them to follow positive information provided programs. According to Mr. Harrison,
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
analysis in
New York university
Suggestion
a New York university
, if students observe jobs which was beneficial to their community,
for instance
, they tend to form acceptable habitats and started helping people. Another method to resolve
this
is to educate them about
offense
a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others
offence
’ negative influence since they were
primary
Suggestion
primarily
small children, helping them understand and consider about the consequences of
crime
and not proceeding it. In conclusion, the situation that the number felonies which were completed by children can be ascribed to a few factors. To address the situation, there are some effective methods,
such
as educating them about the negative effects of
law
an air mass of lower pressure; often brings precipitation
low
-broken activities. It is predicted that if these measures are adopted, the
rate
of teenage crimes could be reduced.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: