IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

demand for food is increasing worldwide. what is the cause of this? what measure can the international community take to meet this demand?

#demand #food #measure #community
Groceries market is growing rapidly, all over the world,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 require more and more. Many factors caused
this
 issue and with no
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
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 the proper measures need to be taken by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
To begin
 with, the increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
global population is one of the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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 for
food
. It especially applies to undeveloped countries, where the amount of humans is rising the most.
This
 enormous population needs a lot of feeding sources
thus
 it has to look for
food
 anywhere.
Moreover
, the number of
people
 who waste groceries
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased as well.
For instance
, rich
people
 or citizens of developing countries are throwing away nutrition without thinking of those who need it. Another cause of
food
 demand is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change.
Furthermore
, using agricultural lands for other reasons than farming and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
 the ecosystem and feeding sources.
However
, authorities and the society can take steps to solve
this
 problem.
Firstly
, the government should motivate
people
 to buy the proper amount of
food
 to avoid wasting it.
For instance
, in some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 there are public refrigerators to put unnecessary products so other
people
 may take it.
Secondly
, it is significant to use the land for farming
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
 other purposes like building new tourist resorts.
Thus
, the authorities need to support and fund agriculture to encourage
people
 to produce
food
. In conclusion, various measures are needed to resolve the issue of
food
 requirements in the world and
people
 are responsible
to do
Change preposition
for doing
show examples
 it and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care of their future
Submitted by karolapatela on

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task response
The essay addresses the main points of the topic but lacks depth and clarity in supporting the main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of coherence and cohesion, however, there are areas where the logical structure could be improved for better flow and coherence.

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