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Band 3

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with colleague?

#people #leisure #time #colleagues #life #work #colleague
Every person
enjoy
Suggestion
enjoys
 free time.
some
Suggestion
Some
 of the individuals like to spend their free time with colleagues during weekends and
share
 their personal life’s experiences
.
Accept space
.
while
Suggestion
While
 other people do not like to
share
 their family matters with colleagues and spend
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 free time in their own way.. I personally believe that people should interact with their
colleagues but
Accept comma addition
colleagues, but
 they should not
share
 personal life’s stories.
To begin
 with, It is
a
Suggestion
an
 effective way to know co-workers when people meet each other during weekends because people can understand better each others and they can discuss their
work
 related issues and
share
 creative ideas with each other which can improve their
work
 efficiency and cooperation. Another advantage of seeing colleagues is that it will become easier for people to make friends at
work
 and it will become more convenient and comfortable for them to
work
 in any organisation.
On the other hand
, people should not
share
 their personal problems with colleagues when they meet them because they can misuse that information and harm them in
future
Suggestion
the future
 which might impact their working calibre at
job
Suggestion
the job
a job
.
For instance
, A survey was conducted in the state of
Punjab where
Accept comma addition
Punjab, where
 a School principal used to mentally torture his employees by knowing their personal life’s history. To recapitulate, I would like to write that people should interact with e
ach other
Accept comma addition
other, but
 but they should not
share
 their sorrows with them
Submitted by raman on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmonious environment
  • effective collaboration
  • socializing
  • fostering
  • outlet for stress
  • blurring boundaries
  • privacy concerns
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • multinational companies
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • teamwork
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