IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lesson about work abs become more disciplined other argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #teenagers #work #money #lesson #abs #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #school #activities
Few individuals think that getting fundamental lessons about working place and having a more conscious mindset about life and schedule through part-time job is a prime obligation for teenagers but other assume that
this
 would impact on their health and mind.
However
, growth in life is necessary and
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 do agree with
this
 given statement because part time working zone trained their mind about financial goal, knowing or unknowingly and it
also
 gives wider perspective and imagination to them.
To begin
 with, knowing about financial transactions and having deep knowledge about monetary process of expenditure is the need of an hour because nobody wants financial crisis in the life but part-time job teaches
this
 automatically. To exemplify, one candidate from school who is working as a half day employee have more accurate information and wisdom about where he spent the bucks and why he spend it as compared to the other boy who is belong to same batch but not working as a half day employee.
This
 research demonstrates the clear perspective and norms about financial goals of teenagers.
In addition
, nowadays youngsters are more intelligent and they are always looking for more theories about their field. Part-time job giving
this
 opportunity to them by introducing new skills and method while working as an employee in any organization which
further
 gives overwhelming repercussions to them by psychologically and professionally.
For instance
, part time working teenagers has wide horizon and range of business, technique and growth planning and they
also
 have strategies about how to grow a business through experience so that they can able to see satisfactory graphs and reports about organization and success. To reiterate
this
 working part time should mandatory for teenagers and I think it would beneficial for government and the country's economy.
Submitted by Riken Patel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: