IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some older people struggle with the use of modern electronic technology such as smartphones, computers. What are the reasons and give your solutions

#people #struggle #technology #smartphones #computers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era technology has changed the world. It is said by some individuals that elderly people face problem of using electronic gadgets like smartphones and computers. There are numerous reasons behind it
.
Accept space
.
I will elaborate my viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
first
Linking Words
 and foremost reason is that old people
are depended
Suggestion
are depending
have depended
depend
 on others for learning the features of
electronics so
Accept comma addition
electronics, so
 they become reluctant to learn
those
plural of "this"
these
 things from their children because these days generally children do not live with them. Another reason is that some of the elderly people do not like to
use
Use synonyms
 new electronic because they have difficulties in assessing the complicated features of new equipments and
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of patience
,
Accept space
,
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 is required for getting knowledge of
latest electronics
Suggestion
the latest electronics
. A survey was conducted in India in which it was estimated that 50 percent of elderly people are unable to learn new electronics because they live alone and they
can not
can not
cannot
 find the right sources getting
education
Suggestion
an education
 about new
euipments
an instrumentality needed for an undertaking or to perform a service
equipments
apartments
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some solutions of these problems. Elderly people should be motivated by their children to
use
Use synonyms
 these latest equipments and they should spend some free time with parents so that they can learn these new things
.
Accept space
.
Another solution is that some trained people should be hired by them so that they can learn the ways of operating the difficult features of mobile phones and smartphones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, elderly people who
use
Use synonyms
 new
electronics
Suggestion
electronic
 should be appreciated and rewarded by society it will definitely inspire others. To recapitulate, I would like to write that nothing is impossible in
this
Linking Words
 world. Old people should be guided by others with patience which will help them to
use
Use synonyms
 these electronics.
Submitted by raman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: