IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that individuals can tackle these problems individuals can tackle these problems.

#overpopulation #areas #two #ones #individuals
The industrial revolution
has created
Suggestion
created
 waves of migration, partly contributing to the overpopulation of urban areas.
This
 problem affects directly on
quality
Suggestion
the quality
 of living of
residents
Suggestion
the residents
,
therefore
 the
government
 and individuals should take action together to solve
this
 social problem.
First
 of all, overpopulation led to a low standard of living. The low-income class can not have enough money to pay for social services
such
 as health services and education services. They may live in slums where social vices and diseases are not solved thoroughly. Take India as an example, millions of people will have been affected by famine and COVID 19. Medical service and food supplies during quarantine are overloaded.
As a result
, thousands of dwellers may face death.
Besides
, pollution is one of the results of overpopulation. A vast number of private
vehicle
Suggestion
vehicles
has circulated
Suggestion
have circulated
 due to traffic congestion. During rush hour in Hanoi, a large amount of CO2 emission is discharged, air pollution in Hanoi is increasingly serious.
However
, both
government
 and individuals are believed to tackle
this
 situation day by day. The
government
 should promulgate an evacuation policy and increase the number of employment offers in the suburb.
Hence
, the number of inhabitants
migrate
Suggestion
migrates
 to cities for doing
for
Suggestion
in
 the living will decrease. Each family should reduce fertility rates to slow down population growth. In conclusion, a
low
Suggestion
lower
 standard of living and pollution are
unexpected consequences
Suggestion
the unexpected consequences
 of a rise in residents in the city.
Nevertheless
,
this
 social issue can be curtailed if the
government
 has reasonable residential projects. Every individual performs strictly evacuation policies to contribute to reducing population growth.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: