Some people believe that a county becomes more interesting and develops faster when its population includes a mixture of different nationalities and cultures. Do you agree or disagree ?

A part of individuals trust that a nation becomes
more advance
Suggestion
more advanced
and elaborate rapidly when its inhabitants includes a mixture of
differents
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
nations and ethnicity. In my opinion, it is very
benficial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
for country by improving diversity at workplace and interpersonal skills due to compete with each other.
Firstly
, there are multiple nationalities working together in industries which increases the productivity of
organisation
Suggestion
the organisation
an organisation
organisations
, and
as a result
it
impact
Suggestion
impacts
the economy of
country
Suggestion
the country
a country
.
For instance
, multiple races accompany in the biggest firms
i
objective form of "I"
me
I
myself
.
e
Suggestion
E
Apple develops a healthy culture and environment which leads to productivity and booms in the market across the globe. They can work
effeciently which
Accept comma addition
efficiently, which
efficiently which
can build a healthy
competeion
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competition
computation
among them.
Secondly
,
multi national
involving or operating in several nations or nationalities
multinational
companies having workers speaking
of
Suggestion
in
different languages in their workplace. Many of them can share their ideas with each other which may help other job holders to understand their individual experiences and social activities.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
workers are encouraged to learn and share distant cultures leads them to a healthy environment that
benficial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
for the nation.
For example
, Microsoft holds employees from different background and ethnicity to work. Each project has many workers working on multiple tasks and in case if someone faces issues, other personnel support him or her with their own experience. To sum up, it is no doubt that people from different background and race have
different mindset
Suggestion
a different mindset
different mindsets
and ideas that makes creativity and growth in
positive manner
Suggestion
a positive manner
. I believe that welcoming the people from different traditions and culture may be beneficial for the development of a country.
Submitted by unjilani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: