IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that we should not study history , as it has little or nothing to tell us . Do you agree or disagree.

#people #study #history
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History is a primary subject that reveals
about
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our past and our ancestors, but a few individuals argue that history should not be studied because it has a minor effect on our future and our lives. In my opinion, I disagree with the aforementioned statement because it tells us about our past and
help
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helps
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 to remember our values, so it is fairly important to be studied.
This
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 essay will
further
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 discuss both facets of a proposal with appropriate examples and
reaches
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reach
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to
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a logical conclusion.
To begin
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 with, history has all aspects of knowledge
which
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related to our past
that
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and
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 how
a
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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development
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developed
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 and discovered everything.
However
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, there are plenty of books and journals which were written on human development and
gives
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give
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 us full knowledge about all ages
that
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and
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 how
a
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mankind
Add a missing verb
has change
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change
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changed
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 over the ages.
For example
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, the subject studied in the schools has
full
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a full
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 information pack about human development.
Secondly
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, it has the full material about our past heroes who sacrificed their lives for our nation, when one is reading about them that how they gave their lives for their nation's freedom.
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Additionally
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Additionally,
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 readers know their values and duties about
the
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humanity.
For instance
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, in India,
10th
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the 10th
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 class's historical subject is all about their freedom fighter heroes, and children get all
information
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the information
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 about them from it. In conclusion,
therefore
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 the topic is important, which would be compulsory for our generation to know about our past, so they know their values and morals for their life. It would not be ignored
from
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by
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 our society as
the
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apply
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trash.
Submitted by amndhaliwal7 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a stronger connection between ideas in each paragraph to improve flow and coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repeating past mistakes
  • historical knowledge
  • economic crises
  • sense of identity
  • cultural evolution
  • community bonds
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • correlation and causation
  • irrelevant
  • policymakers
  • international relations
  • impedes
  • innovate
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