ĐỀ 1: In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

#counties #people #home #children #women #work #time #development

Recent decades have witnessed an upsurge in the number of women becoming breadwinners in the family while men stay at home for

child care

a service involving care for other people's children

childcare

Although

there

Suggestion

are

a majority of

driving forces

Suggestion

the driving forces

behind the curtain and personally I believe that

this

trend could lead to equally positive and negative consequences On the one hand, it is likely to be that gender equality gives human beings a right to do whatever they want. Which means unlike the dominated -

men

Suggestion

men's

man's

society

, a female could get involved in

employment workforce

Accept comma addition

employment, workforce

, even taking part in political systems to climb the career ladders while men could

also

stay at home to take care of their family as long as their interest and

desire want to do

Suggestion

desire to want to do

On the other hand

, there is no doubt that the phenomenon brings both benefits and drawbacks. In the

first

place,

this

change in the

family’s

Suggestion

family

structure gives people the chance to develop their talent and pursue their ambition.

For example

, while if it is rarely for women to hold a position in the previous

society

Accept comma addition

society, then

then

this

sexual equality weaker sex is totally possible for them to run to be a President like Hicliton did, take a prime illustration.

By contrast

, men might

also

work in the cosmetic industry, becoming a hairdresser or a cook. Thereby giving citizens a space to develop their skills and

strengthen helps

Suggestion

helps strengthen

them to make a living, leading to a fairer and rich

society

. In the

second

place, paying too much attention to the working environment gives female no time for their husband and offsprings so that lack of interaction between family members might increase the rate of divorce, and other health problems related to children

such

mental health disorder

Suggestion

a mental health disorder

, stress, autism,

etc

continuing in the same way

etc.

In conclusion, equal

society

gives people the right to pursue their interests while it is advisable for them to take advantage of

this

opportunity and balance between

domestic chores

Suggestion

the domestic chores

and social activities to get a prosperous life.

Submitted by Andy on Wed Aug 26 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Gender roles
Societal norms
Flexible gender roles
Masculinity
Fatherhood
Economic considerations
Earning potential
Workplace flexibility
Telecommuting
Maternity leave policies
Childcare costs
Economical
Work-life balance
Family well-being
Upbringing
Career satisfaction
Professional growth
Domestic responsibilities

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ĐỀ 1: In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. Do advantage of this development outweigh this disadvantages.