Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parents play an important role in the development of a
child
's
personality
. It is said by some individuals that there are other sources like television and
friends which
Accept comma addition
friends, which
impact the
personality
of children. In my perspective, parents, friends and television all are essential in the life of
child
Suggestion
a child
the child
children
and my viewpoints on these issues will be elaborated in the aforementioned paragraphs. On the one hand, Parents work really hard to shape the
personality
of their
child
and they work in order to fulfil their basic needs like food
,
Accept space
,
shelter and clothes. Apart from
this
, children acquire some of the qualities from their parents and
they
of them or themselves
their
polish these qualities and try to make them civilized, cultured and polished.
For instance
, a survey was conducted in the Punjab in 2017 and its result was that seventy percent parents make regular efforts for the betterment of their children.
On the other hand
, some people believe that when children make friends
then
they can share their personal feelings and thoughts with
them which
Accept comma addition
them, which
can not
can not
cannot
be shared with their parents and they can express their
emotion
Suggestion
emotions
freely
.
Accept space
.
For example
, when students study in colleges and
school
Accept comma addition
school, then
then
they can play with each other which helps them to grow well.
Besides
this
, on television children can watch cartoons, movies which motivates them to grow well. To recapitulate,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
would like to write that all these things have their own value in shaping the
personality
of a
child
.
Submitted by raman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial influence
  • learning environment
  • essential life skills
  • instill morals and manners
  • external factors
  • introduce to a variety of cultures
  • social skills
  • monitor the content
  • maintain a central role
  • exposure to different ideas
  • complement parental teaching
  • broader understanding
  • critical thinking skills
  • foundational groundwork
  • prominent influence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: