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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A section of society believes that it is important for children to be independent just as their choices ought to be them as it were. While others disagree with it. What is your opinion?

The paradigm shift in the lifestyle has changed the way parents nurture their
off-springs
the immediate descendants of a person
offspring
. Owing to which a section of society contends that it is imperative for children to become self-dependent as well as their decisions should be made by them only.
However
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, others are in disaccord with
this
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. A question that arises is that, which ideology is worth supporting? I vehemently believe that
former
Suggestion
the former
 will be more fruitful for them.
This
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 essay intends to elucidate reasons along with relevant illustrations behind complete accordance with
this
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 notion. Improvement in decision making skill, is the most significant benefit associated with children being independent and making their decision by themselves. Since
this
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 avail children to gain enough experience to make viable and wise decisions in
future
Suggestion
the future
 or during rainy days, which help them to run their
life smoothly as
Suggestion
life as smoothly as
 they become familiar with it at an early stage of their life. Eventually, they become responsible than others. It has been revealed in a Hindustan Times newspaper that study conducted on over hundred adults revealed that, sixty among them have better decision-making skill than
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 forty and the reason being behind it is that during their childhood their parents gave them freedom to make
decision
Suggestion
decisions
a decision
the decision
.
Thus
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,
this
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 aids children to be more responsible and attain better skills.
Additionally
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, children who decide for themselves develop a solution-oriented approach.
This
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become
Suggestion
has become
becomes
is becoming
support system
Suggestion
a support system
 for them during any problem as they acquire the ability of solving their life issues independently. Along with
it they
Accept comma addition
it, they
 do not rely on others to come out of the trouble and with their own efforts they tackle and solve it wisely.
Moreover
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, they can
also
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 distinguish easily what is wrong or right for them. It has been revealed in a survey conducted by
University
Suggestion
the University
 of London, in the year 2017, that children who are overly protected by their parents and their important decisions are not being made by them are fifty percent more likely to face stress in
future
Suggestion
the future
 because of their wrong decisions towards
problem
Suggestion
the problem
a problem
.
Hence
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, children should decide for themselves and should be given independence by parents to be self-reliant. That being said, owing to the reason
such
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 as polished decision-making skills and self-reliant
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
, I entirely accord with given ideology.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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