Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

#crime #countries #world #people #trend

Criminal activities are greatly affecting the younger generation of the world in several ways.

This

essay will explore how the unemployment and parental

neglect

are the root cause of

this

concern and how through creating job opportunities and parental attention,

this

problem

can be curtailed. There are multiple causes of

this

menace.

Firstly

, one of the biggest reasons behind

this

concern is unemployment.As jobless youth poses a great threat to society because of their chances of negative exploitation.Take an example of eastern Europe, where the increased street crime was observed

as a result

of jobless youngsters.

Thus

Accept space

joblessness can be considered as the

fueling

force behind

this

issue.

Secondly

Accept space

another leading cause of

this

issue is parental

neglect

.As working parents have hardly minimum time for their offsprings so it leads to negative consequences in terms of their growth in education and personality which becomes a guiding force for criminal activities.

For instance

Accept space

a recent survey done by Univerity of Stanford revealed that most of the adolescents involved in crimes belong to broken families.

Hence

parental

neglect

van be considered as the breeding ground of

this

problem

However there

Accept comma addition

However, there

are certain viable measures that can be taken to curb

this

problem

.The primary solution would create job opportunities for the youth.As jobs will engage the youngsters in productive activities.

Furthermore

, another effective solution I believe would be an attention from parents for the children.As it will not only enhance their academic abilities, but

also

reduce the negativity. To sum up

Accept space

I believe that even though unemployment and parental

neglect

are widespread, but through creating job opportunities and parental attention

Accept space

this

problem

can be tackled.

Submitted by aadidoc508 on Sun Aug 30 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the contemporary era, a growing amount of money has been deeply invested in artworks by the governments.

In recent years, the rise of ebooks causes the decline in paper books. Some people argue this is a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some companies and organisations require thier employees to wear uniforms. What are advantages and disadvantage of this ?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give own your opinion.