New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#technologies #children #time

this

era of technology, new gadgets are released nearly every month, particularly online

gamin

the act of playing for stakes in the hope of winning (including the payment of a price for a chance to win a prize)

gaming

, where children play with each other on the internet.

This

has been a great achievement for

human-kind

all of the living human inhabitants of the earth

humankind

however

, I believe the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages, as there are many worries in respect to the side effects of these devices.

Firstly

, children nowadays spend most of their free time on smart devices, from studying to playing, all is done

Suggestion

with

electronics.

For example

, on average a child spends 5 hours daily on gaming consoles

such

Playstation

Suggestion

the Playstation

. A study done by Australian University of Medical Sciences in 2019, reported that children with increase screen-time are more

likley

has a good chance of being the case or of coming about

likely

to have an early deterioration of eyesight.

Eventhough

Suggestion

Even though

, technology has made many things feasible, it has

also

raised concerns regarding the addictive

affect

a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon

effect

, it has on a young mind.

On the other hand

, due to the rising spread of diseases

such

as Covid-19, parents prefer their child to play inside

instead

of being outside. For

this

reason, guardians are letting children play on online games,

however

, they should be worried about

detrimental effects

Suggestion

the detrimental effects

its having on a child's brain.

Moreover

, psychologists have reported, that children in the future

tend

Suggestion

will tend

loose

fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense

lose

ability

Suggestion

the ability

socilaise

take part in social activities; interact with others

socialise

socialize

in-person, and stay away from social gatherings. To conclude, though technology has made life easy and entertaining for kids, it has

also

introduced many negative effects, it is having on younger children.

Submitted by mehulsharma on Sun Aug 30 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Digital literacy
Cyberbullying
Sedentary lifestyle
Inappropriate content
Self-learning
Screen time
Social inequality
Enhanced communication
Creative expression
Educational resources

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write about the following topic: Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? Give reasons for your answer.

many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?