some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. they believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. do you agree or disagree? which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit

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For

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few past decades

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labour law has set the age limit of the working people. Some are against

this

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notion and argued that certain occupation deserves to retire and receive a pension at an early age. I agree with a given statement.

This

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essay will shed light on the aforementioned statement.

To begin

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with, people are needed to retire in early, those which are engaged with the work related to mental ability. So, a person who involved in work

such

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as, police and military, required more mental job.

Hence

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, mental agility decrease with maturity.

Moreover

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Add a comma

the people, which are engaged in a task,

such

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as mining and construction, are needed to retire in before sixty, because, in seniority

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there is more risk of health hazards and if they are not free in youth, they have a chance to prone to some dreadful diseases.

In addition

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, a person who carried out driving

such

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as pilot and drivers are needing more attention to do the task. But, the attention capacity decreases with maturity.

Therefore

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, these kinds of occupation really benefit from early age retirement.

On the other hand

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, tasks which involve lifetime sophistication and need more experience, personality are must be retired in seniority.

For instance

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, teaching involves a lifetime job to teach children.

Moreover

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, doctor and nurses do

also

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not need

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also not need

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apply

to retire in the seniority.

Therefore

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, some kind of tasks can involve lifetime involvement. To conclude, as aforementioned, not all occupations require to retire in late sixty-five due to mental stress and agility. While other occupation which needs more sophistication like doctor and teachers can become into the latter category.

Submitted by softykanda on Tue Sep 01 2020

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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