IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people argue that if children behave badly their parent should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #children #parent #responsibility #behavior
Parents children relationship is a kind of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art and it has been changed enormously, compared to
p
Add an article
the
show examples
ast couple of
decade's
Change the noun form
decades
decade
show examples
. There are various qualities that are distinguished as
a common practices
Correct the article-noun agreement
a common practice
common practices
show examples
 for parents,
such
 as strict behaviour and punishments for mistakes, they have done. Today, a friendly nature aroused among parents, but still
Add a comma
,
show examples
some people argue, it is cumbersome to
brought
Change the form of the verb
bring
show examples
 up a child with
f
Add an article
a
show examples
riendly approach, rather he should be punished for any bad activities. We can
discussion
Replace the word
discuss
show examples
 on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both the side,
First
 and foremost, children joined the school could face
t
Add an article
the
a
show examples
eacher's approach, some of them polite and few are hard and strict. Children are always scared of the strict tutor and complete their assignments and homework given by them, but they might be careless to the teacher, who are soft in nature.
Secondly
, it is mandatory to be discipline while growing up,
thus
 it could create a bright future. As an example, students who are participating as a volunteer in National Services in India
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
should follow utmost discipline. If they miss the hat, they should make a round around the ground
for
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
10 times. At
last
, punishment is not a proper solution to keep them disciplined, it should be handled in a very proper manner.
Submitted by bjbharathkumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: