IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (say 65) for everybody regardless of occupation is unfair.They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree ? What type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer.

#people #retirement #age #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
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To get
retirement
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 at
c
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a
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ertain age is the Labour court's rules and policy in all around the world. some people would able to
work
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 over 65 years,
thus
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, few industries are given
o
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the
an
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ption to
work
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 as long as
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
they
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 can.
however
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, like a pilot or airforce officers are restricted to serve more than 15 years of
work
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 experience. I agree with
this
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 essay argument. In the following paragraphs
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,
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I will elaborate my perspective sides. To commence-up, In the present
time
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, many workers would prefer to get retire earlier as much as they can which means they would receive quality free times which they can
final
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finally
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 spend with their family and eligibility receive provident funds and
retirement
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 saving balance by
government
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 and employers.
However
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, the
government
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 wouldn't able to give
f
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a
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ull amount of pension if someone would take
retirement
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 before 35 years of full-
time
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work
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 experience.
Moreover
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, During the employment
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,
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some company could have given
f
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a
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ew years of lay-off which means that
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t
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the
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ime period had been deducted from the required working
time
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 periods. In the end, old people had faced financial short as income might lower than outcomes. On the other sides, there are certain capital services would just allow
to
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working
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work
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 a couple of decades, afterwards,there haven't been
c
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a
the
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hoice to
work
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 for long.
For instance
Linking Words
, Like a Pilot or Airforce officer, the
government
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 signed a contract agreement which represents that particular officer would allow
workingwork
Correct your spelling
working work
 12 years of their service life.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 that earlier
retirement
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 won't affect to their full pension amount , addiniallly, his or her family would
also
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 responsible under
government
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. What's More,
e
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the
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ntire family will get lifetime medical insurance and tax-free discounts and many more. To sum up,
retirement
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 is that a choice or personal decision of that person, because there were consequences which may lead them into the financial shortage of medical allowance restrictions. I suggest everyone should have to
work
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 maximum
time
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 period whenever they get to retire that
time
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 they will get the full amount of pension.
Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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